BP-What is in my Heart (a poem)

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Here is something I wrote as I thought back over my life and some of
the situtations that have come up when I did not and could not seem
to feel God's presence.  I hope that it will stir your heart and show
you that sometimes, the next one to cross Hell's door could be among
our own ranks and we do not realize what is going on in their life.

        "What is in my Heart"

By Brandon Parker  Nov. 30, 1995

 What is in my Heart


I look around and see the peace shining down.
  But in my heart, there is pain.
I look around and hear the joy in the songs that the bluebirdssing.
  But in my heart, there is screaming.
I look around and see the love that people feel.
  But in my heart, there is anguish.
I look around and feel the warmth of the sun shining on my face.
  But in my heart, it is cold as ice.
I look around and see the blueness of the sky.
  But in my heart, it is black as night.
I look around and hear laughter ringing out.
  But in my heart, despondency reins true.
I look around and where am I?  I am sitting beside you at church,
school, work, and play.  I am the one hurting though no one sees.
Sometimes you think I am saved, Sometimes you think I feel great.
But the truth is, I am afraid of what I am and my destination, but
no one seems to understand.