Some Instructions

FITZGEREL@aol.com (FITZGEREL@aol.com)
Sat, 26 Sep 1998 18:35:06 EDT


      On hairdryer instructions:
      Do not use while sleeping.
   
      On a bag of Fritos:
      You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside.
   
      On a bar of Dial soap, it says:
      Directions:  Use like regular soap.
   
      I have a frozen dinner at home that says:
      Serving suggestion: Defrost.
   
      ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
      fits one head.
   
      ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESSERT
      - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
   
      ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
      - Product will be hot after heating
   
      ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON
      - Do not Iron clothes on body
   
      ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE
      - Do not drive car or operate machinery
   
      ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)
      - Warning: may cause drowsiness
   
      ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
      - Warning keep out of children
   
      ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
      - For indoor or outdoor use only.
   
      ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
      - Not to be used for the other use
   
      ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS
      - Warning: contains nuts
   
      ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
      - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
   
      ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
      - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.