"Not important Dude" was: Here they come

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                                              The Perfect Church
 
 I found the perfect church Dude!  It's really cool man.  Ya see I got this
new doo, and everyone there is really cool about it.  I got my hair spiked up
in the middle about twelve inches, multi colored (purples and greens) and I
have "Jesus is cool" tattooed to my scalp on the right side of my head and
"Holiness unto the Lord" on the other.  There is a lot of *freedom" there.
There ain't no standards there, everybody's *responsible for their OWN
behavior*.  I do my thing, they do their's. 
 It was really cool the other night, there was a bunch of sisters that did a
special..well , I guess that is what you call it.  They got up in front of the
church and clacked there tongue studs for Jesus.  One of them testified how in
the old church they went to, the pastor preached against tongue rings and the
such but now they have cast off the *yoke of submission*.  The one with the
yellow string bikini top said that the pastor had no right to tell them to do
something that was not specifically spelled out in the scripture.  I got to
talking to this guy after church and he told me he had three wives.  That
kinda blew my mind at first but then he told me that I was just programed into
tradition, and that only bishops according to the Bible had to have only one
wife.  Then he told me several people had multiple wives.  Hey man, that's
cool, if the bible doesn't teach against it what's wrong with it?  Ya know I
am a little liberal but I must say I was surprised to see ash trays inside the
church.  I guess it is better than having people flick their ashes on the
floor.
 This is a new dimension in freedom. *I mean really, the church can't just go
around telling people that THEY are responsible for their OWN behavior can
they?* This is the way church ought to be, no one telling you what to do.  It
is just between you and the big guy up stairs.  We have no standards at all!
It is a bit of a problem getting together be cause to maintain the spirit of
liberty, we forgo official meeting times, so we just kinda show up ya know?
No dress standards either, I told you about the woman in the yellow bikini top
didn't I?  She wasn't the only one.  There are a few guys there that don't
wear shirts.  I asked about that too.  They told me that modesty is relative
so just let the Lord guide you on that, don't let any man tell you what to do.
 I asked this one dude with dreadlocks down to his shoulders (he said it was a
lot shorter than it used to be) "who is the pastor here?"  He said, "That's
him up there."  I said, "You mean that big guy with the beard and the baseball
cap that says 'Jesus Lives' on it?"  He said, "That's him, truely a man with
no lines, ya know some say he's a genius, some say he's a mad man."
 
         Mike Reed