Untamed Heart (and others) ... nyuk, nyuk

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Greetings Saints in Jesus name!

There are many a nyuk, nyuk coming at you today in this particular
message.  There's one below that I cut-n-pasted-n-editted for the
benefit of the brethren out there because sometimes our relationships
with our gals just don't seem to be on the same playing field.... If
you know what I mean.

We're (the breatheren) supposed to be the HOH (head-of-household).  But
sometimes it just doesn't seem like such...... well, due to some undercover
work and much research, I'm now proud to publish this little bit of help 
(risking bodily harm) so that our lives and relationships are a little
bit smoother and sweeter.... ;-)

Yeah .... riiiiiiiight ;-P

Bro Tyler

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A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: 

"Da-ad..."

"What?" 

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" 

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." 

"WHAT?" 

"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" 

"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..." 

"WHAT??!!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

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A story that Paul Harvey told:

(He told the name of a person and when and where this happened,
but I didn't catch those details.)

Somewhere out is a rural setting, a farmer was sitting on his porch
in the evening and heard the sound of a horned owl.  He recognized
the sound and with his voice imitated it.  Shortly afterwards, he
heard it again, so again responded.  After several exchanges, it
ended.

A few nights later, he thought that he would try calling the bird
again, and shortly after, heard a response.  The exchange took place
for an number of times as before.

Over the summer, this happened several times.

Later, he mentioned to a neighbor that he had been having a running
conversation with a neighborhood horned owl.  The neighbor
responded, "That's interesting, I have been having an ongoing
conversation with one, too."

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Brain Test:

 How smart are you?

     READ the following sentence:

     FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-
     SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-
     IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
     THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS..

 Now count the F's in that sentence..

 Answer at bottom of message.....................

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Risking bodily harm in #16 below... I transcribe these for the
brethren of Higher-Fire ..... these are the unwritten *rules*
of women/men relationships/conduct:

THE RULES:

 1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 
 3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES. 
 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, 
    she must immediately change some of THE RULES 
 5. The Female is never wrong.
 6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of 
    a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the 
    Male did or said wrong. 
 7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately 
    for causing the misunderstanding.
 8. The Female can change her mind at any time. 
 9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, 
    written consent of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female 
    wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male 
    know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times. 
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, 
    not what she said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he 
    can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm. 
17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

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Answers to the *Brain Test*....

          There are 6 F's.... 

          I'm told the human mind will most usually miss the
          F's contained in the word OF because when we read that
          particular word, the F makes a "V" sound....

          3 is average.  More than 3 is above average.  6 is exceptional.


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--
Many of my titles:  Husband, Father, Programmer, Webmaster, Son, Worker,
 Analyst, Saint, Usher, Singer, Surfer, Skateboarder, Owner/Moderator,
 Arbitrator, Shopper, Talker, Writer, Sitter, Squatter, Runner, Reader,
 Walker, Cook ...           

Several offices, one identity --- Tyler Nally <tgnally@prairienet.org>