Ice Fishing ... nyuk, nyuk

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A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes
walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the
centre of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud
booming voice comes out of the sky.

"You will find no fish under that ice."

The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once
more, the voice speaks.

"As I said before, there are no fish under the ice."

The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul.
He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish. Before he can
even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three
times now. There are no fish!"

The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice,
"How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"
"No", the voice replied. "I am the manager of this ice rink."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door and kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into
his eyes, "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything ..."

He returns her gaze, "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens, "Anything?"

"Anything," she repeats again.

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... study?"