Hurting

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Greetings in Jesus Name

If the moderator allows this post on the net, it may be a rather
lengthy one. Bro. moderator if you choose to send this one back, I
will understand. 

In a recent post entitled "Three Gods", I stated that I may go back to
the Assemblies Of God. I received several private posts. A few were
very kind, but most reminded me of an oxygen-injected flame-thrower.

I have always believed in One God. I still do. It is not the Oneness
doctrine that that I don't agree with, it is some of the people that I
don't agree with.

1. God didn't call anyone to defend His Word. It is settled and He
doesn't need us to defend it. I remember a debate in college.  I
debated the tongues issue. I had spoke in tongues and I knew they are
real, but the skilled opponent that I faced made me look like a fool
and some of those people probably don believe in tongues today because
of me. When we hinge God's word on our ability to debate, I believe we
do wrong.

2. This practice of slaughtering those that we don't think are doing
right to protect the "flock" is WRONG.

You can't know the hurt that you do to people in an effort to protect
the "flock". I know because I have been there for 36 years, but I
believe that healing is coming from this post. I have carried the hurt
long enough.

By the way, for those who don't have time for this, you can go on to
the next post. It is not important that you read this but it is
important for me to say it. 

I was raised UPC and not many people loved the Church more than I did.
I still love it but I have a lot of trouble with the hurt trying to
turn to bitterness. 

I would like to tell you a couple of things that happened to me about
36 years ago. Why talk about things that old? Because the same things
are still happening today. 

I was very close to my home pastor. They were like a second mama and
daddy to me. I remember the day I told him I was going to join the
USAF. The draft was going to get me. I had dropped out of college and
they had told me that I was going to be next for the Army. Everyone
wanted me to tell them that I was going to be a minister, but I just
wasn't sure. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life wondering. My
pastor told me that I shouldn't join the USAF. My pastor and my Church
never wrote me a single letter while I was going a nightmare in basic
training. The pastor had to sacrifice me to keep others from joining
up. 

After basic training, I went to school in another city. After five
weeks there I was allowed to leave the base on Sunday morning. I had
to wear my uniform. I took a bus and cab to the UPC Church. When I got
there, a man came out and introduced himself as the pastor. I told him
where I was from and that I had the Holy Ghost. He ask me to step into
his office and then he pulled back the curtain. He ask me to look out
and I saw an old school bus with weeds growing around it. He said "we
bought that bus and tried to work with the military but we found that
all they wanted to do was mess with the girls. We decided that we
would just as soon not have them around". I needed that Church. It was
the first time I had ever been away from home and I needed some
fellowship. They judged me by the USAF uniform that I had on. I was
hurting and I needed some kindness. If they had been kind to me, some
might have misunderstood and thought the UPC believed in war. Not one
person spoke to me for the several months that I attended and paid my
tithes there.

The Church should be a hospital. If you don't have some sinners in the
house you are a failure.

If any of you have read this far, please pray for me. The hurt and 
bitterness is eating me alive.

I love you all
Floyd E. Avery  feavery@prysm.net