No puns in ten did

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they 
lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that you 
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood
and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton
fields and never amounted to much.  The second one, naturally
became known as the lesser of two weevils.

 
Did you hear about the Buddist who refused his dentist's novocaine
during root canal work?  He wanted to transcend dental medication!

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and 
were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour,the manager came out of the 
and asked them to disperse.  "But why?", they asked, as they
moved off.  "Because,"  he said, "I can't stand chess  nuts
boasting in an  open foyer."

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for
something to eat. He came across two men.  One was sitting
under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on
his typewriter.  The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the
book and devoured him.  Even the king of the jungle knows
that readers digest and writers cramp.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. 
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one
of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.