Nyuk, Nyuk

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I had heard this 'un before, but it just recently surfaced again. 
Thought there might be some who had not heard it.

THIS IS REPORTED TO BE A REAL ACCIDENT REPORT LETTER TO THE WORKER'S
COMPENSATION BOARD.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir;

	I am writing in response to your request for additionaly
information in Block #3 of the accident report form.  I put "Poor
Planning" as the cause for my accident.  You asked for a fuller
explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

	I am a bricklayer by trade.  On the day of the accident, I was
working along on the roof of a new six-story building.  When I completed
my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later
were found to weigh 240 lbs.  Rather than carry the bricks down by hand,
I decided to lower them in a barrell by using a pulley which was attached
to the side of the building at the sixth floor.
	
	Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung
the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.  Then I went down and
untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 24o
lbs of bricks.  You will not in the accident reporting form that my
weight is 135 lbs.

	Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  Needless to
say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

	In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was
now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.  This explains
the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed
im Section 3 of the accident reporting form.

	Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley
which I mentioned in Paragraph two of this correspondence.  Fortunately
by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now
beginning to experience.

	At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit
the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel.  Now devoid of the
weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.  I refer
yhou again to my weight.

	As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of
the building.  In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel
coming up.  This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and
severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

	Here my luck began to change slightly.  The encounter with the
barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into
the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.  

	I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of
bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories
above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of
the rope.  This accounts for the rest of the injuries reported on the
accident reporting form.


Sincerly yours,



Travis Lillard--- obie@juno.com      
Isa 25:1 O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee,  I will praise thy
name;  
Ps 143:10  Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy Spirit is
good;
lead me in the land of uprightness