More nyuk, nyuk's ....

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        A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with
fear when the pilot announced, "Two of our engines are on fire; we are
flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated all our visibility."
        The passengers were numb with fear, except for one...a retired
minister.  "Now, now, keep calm," he said.  "Let's all bow our heads
and pray."
        Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray...except one
man.  "Why aren't you bowing your head to pray?" the minister asked.
        "I don't know how to pray," replied the passenger.
        "Well, just do something religious!" instructed the minister.
        The man got up and passed his hat down the aisle, taking an
offering.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire
suffers a flat.  While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by,
running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts.  the
nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.

Jones is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he
hears a shout from behing the hospital fence, where one of the inmates has
been watching the whole thing.

"Hey, pal!  Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of the other
three wheels?  That'll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage or
something."

Jones is startled by the patient's seeming rationality, but realizes the
plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident.  Before he
leaves, he calls back to the patient.  "You know, that was pretty sharp
thinking.  Why do they have you in there?"

The patient smiles and says, "I'm in here because I'm crazy, not because
I'm stupid."
--
Many of my titles:  Husband, Father, Programmer, Webmaster, Son, Worker,
 Analyst, Saint, Usher, Singer, Surfer, Skateboarder, Owner/Moderator,
 Arbitrator, Shopper, Talker, Writer, Sitter, Squatter, Runner, Reader,
 Walker, Cook ...           

Several offices, one identity --- Tyler Nally <tgnally@prairienet.org>