[Fwd: 'Euro-English']

• Messages sorted by:[ date ][ thread ][ subject ][ author ]

Check this out!

Sent by my brother:
> The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
> English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which
> was the other possibility.
> 
> As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that
> English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
> 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro-English'.
> 
> In the first year 's' will replace the soft 'c'.  Sertainly, this will
> make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard 'c' will be dropped in
> favor of the 'k'.  This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
> one less letter.
> 
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'.  This will make words
> like 'fotograf' 20% shorter!
> 
> In the 3rd year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
> Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have
> always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also al wil agre that the
> horible
> mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
> 
> By the 4th year peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
> with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'.
> 
> During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining
> "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
> leters.  After zi fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl.  Zer vil
> be no mor trubl of difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezitu undrstand ech
> ozer.
> 
> Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
> 
> Hav a niz da!