Oxymorons ... nyuk, nyuk's

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OXYMORONS


50. Act naturally
49. Found missing
48. Resident alien
47. Advanced BASIC
46. Genuine imitation
45. Airline Food
44. Good grief
43. Same difference
42. Almost exactly
41. Government organization
40. Sanitary landfill
39. Alone together
38. Legally drunk
37. Silent scream
36. American history
35. Living dead
34. Small crowd
33. Business ethics
32. Soft rock
31. Butt Head
30. Military Intelligence
29. Software documentation
28. New York culture
27. New classic
26. Sweet sorrow
25. Childproof
24. "Now, then ..."
23. Synthetic natural gas
22. Christian Scientists
21. Passive aggression
20. Taped live
19. Clearly misunderstood
18. Peace force
17. Extinct Life
16. Temporary tax increase
15. Computer jock
14. Plastic glasses
13. Terribly pleased
12. Computer security
11. Political science
10. Tight slacks
 9. Definite maybe
 8. Pretty ugly
 7. Twelve-ounce pound cake
 6. Diet ice cream
 5. Rap music
 4. Working vacation
 3. Exact estimate
 2. Religious tolerance
 
And the Number one, top OXY-Moron
 
 1. Microsoft Works

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  	Roger was fed up with his wife, so he packed up his stuff and
  moved into the garage.  Although the couple seldom spoke, he
  continued to mow the lawn, take out the garbage and fix the car,
  while she cooked the meals and did the laundry.
	Months later, Roger met his friend Don for a Coke.  "Things
  don't seem to be working out any better," Don remarked.  "Why
  don't you move out?"
	"Well, if you really want to know the truth," Roger explained,
  "she is such a good neighbor."


  Did you hear about the office cleaning service that was fired by
  Microsoft?  The wouldn't do windows.


  After only six months of marriage, the unhappy wife made an
  appointment with a divorce lawyer.  "We met through a computer dating
  service," she said between sobs, "For the life of me, I'll never
  understand what that machine saw in him."


  A hearse was taking a man to a cemetery on top of a
  mountain overlooking a small town. The driver took a curve
  too quickly causing the casket to roll out of the back and
  down a very long hill. There happened to be a pharmacy at
  the bottom of the hill and the casket rolled through the
  open loading dock door, down one of the aisles and right
  past the drug counter. As it rolled by a customer asked
  the pharmacist, "DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO STOP THIS COFFIN"?

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--
Bro Tyler Nally <tnally@iquest.net> <tgnally@prairienet.org>

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