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> Dear Friend, I think your Apostolic Arrogance is over powering. I am glad
> you are feeling better.

> Pastor Fitzgerel

It was overpowering ME, and preventing me from really learning Christ like
I should have all along. Most apostolics have never experienced true grace
and mercy becuase they are too saved to realize their own inadequecies
and shortcomings.

My life reminds me of the story of Humpty Dumpty:

HUMPTY DUMPTY SAT ON A WALL:
I was always on my wall of arrogance. Super holy, never erring. in fact,
I had the nick-name of "pentecostal police" because I was always going
around correcting people for their clothing, jewelry, music they listened
to, words and phrases they said.

HUMPTY DUMPY HAD A GREAT FALL:
Until one day sin entered into my own life, and took me for a loop that I
NEVER in my life thought I would have to go through. Talk about being
overtaken in a fault...this sin began to rule my life until eventually the
conviction of God had all but left me, and I became comfortable in my sin.

ALL THE KINGS HORSES, AND ALL THE KINGS MEN:
I came to myself one day and decided to "confess" to my pastor, only
to be MISERABLY let down and condescended. I was put out and 
"set down" without any instruction or further counseling. I tried to talk
to other people only to receive the SAME type of treatment. Those who I
considered my friends completely abandoned me, and told me I would 
"not succeed in this life or afterwards". These were apostolic people, no
less!

COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN:
After all the confession and seeking counseling I did after my incident, I 
found that none of the "ministers" or those who are supposed to restore
me spiritually could help me NOR did they WANT to help me! As a result,
I lost a desire for church and even for God. 

BUT THE STORY NEVER MENTIONS THE KING:
Instead of depending on the Kings horses and the kings men, I surrendered
directly to the King HIMSELF! Hallelujah! Best move I ever made in my LIFE!
I was always taught that when you turn from God, it is a long journey back
to God and you must be patient and wait for him to accept you. NOT SO!
The day I made up my mind to return to God, he was RIGHT THERE waiting
for me! Surprised me too!