Letter to boss ... nyuk, nyuk's

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THE BOSS ASKED FOR A LETTER

Pete Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle.  Pete works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues.  Pete never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time.  Often Pete takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
breaks.  Pete is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field.  I firmly believe that Pete can be
classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with.  Consequently, I duly recommend that Pete be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.

   Sd/-

   Project Leader
 
        -----------------------------------------------------

   A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:
   That idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the
   report sent to you earlier today.  Kindly read only the odd
   numbered lines (1, 3, 5, ...) for my true assessment of him.

    Regards -

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Why ask Why? 

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? 

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? 

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? 

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? 

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? 

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? 

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on
the doors? 

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? 

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the
pan? 

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a
height, what would happen? 

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn
on the headlights? 

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the
package says, "Open somewhere else"? 

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? 

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? 

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? 

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? 

Why do noses run and feet smell? 

Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? 

How is it that a building burns up as it burns down? 

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn
down the volume on the radio? 

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Joe & Ralph are bungee-jumping one day.  Joe says to Ralph, "You know,
we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in
Mexico." Ralph thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money
and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord,
insurance,etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.
As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble.  Slowly,
more and more people gather to watch them at work. It's finally finished
& Joe decides to be the first to jump.  He bounces at the end of the
cord, but when he comes back up, Ralph notices that he has a few cuts
and scratches.  Unfortunately, Ralph isn't able to catch him. Joe falls
again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, Joe is bruised and
bleeding.  Again, Ralph misses him.  Joe falls again and bounces back
up.  This time, he comes back pretty messed up -- he's got a couple of
broken bones and is almost unconscious.  Luckily, Ralph finally catches
him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" With
fleeting breath, Joe finally says, "No, the cord was fine, but what is a
pinata?"
--
Bro Tyler Nally <tnally@iquest.net> <tgnally@prairienet.org>

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