Murphy's Generic Laws

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In a message dated 2/26/98 2:35:44 AM Mountain Standard Time,
Jokeman@nextfrontier.net writes:

> If anything can go wrong, it will 
>  
>  Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse 
>  
>  It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious 
>  
>  Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value 
>  
>  Everything goes wrong all at once 
>  
>  When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have
>  been correct in the first place 
>  
>  Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse 
>  
>  The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its 
> desirability 
>  
>  In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action,
>  most people will choose the worst one possible 
>  
>  Things will get worse before they will get better. Who said things would
get
>  better? 
>  
>  Almost anything is easier to get into than out of 
>  
>  Everything costs more and takes longer 
>  
>  Any product cut to length will be too short 
>  
>  If you need n items of anything, you will have n-1 in stock 
>  
>  The most delicate component will be dropped 
>  
>  After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access
>  cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed. 
>  
>  After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be
>  discovered that the gasket has been omitted 
>  
>  Design flaws travel in groups 
>  
>  An object will fall so as to do the most damage 
>  
>  The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly
>  proportional to the value of the carpet 
>  
>  After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself 
>  
>  When the going gets tough, everybody leaves 
>  
>  Nothing ever goes away 
>  
>  If you wait, it will go away.... having done its damage.... if it was bad, 
> it
>  will be back 
>  
>  If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway 
>  
>  If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break 
>  
>  Don't force it - get a bigger hammer 
>  
>  When all else fails, read the instructions 
>  
>  Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment 
>  
>  Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour
>  later 
>  
>  You never find a lost article until you replace it 
>  
>  Interchangeable parts won't 
>  
>  The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its 
> actual
>  usefulness once bought and paid for 
>  
>  No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it
>  will be on sale somewhere cheaper 
>  
>  In a queue, the other line moves faster 
>  
>  Negative expectations yield negative results.  Positive expectations yield
> negative results 
>  
> Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of
> assembly 
>  
> Everyone has a scheme that will not work 
>  
> Nature sides with the hidden flaw 
>  
> The hidden flaw never remains hidden 
>  
> A little ignorance can go a long way....  In the direction of maximum harm 
>  
> You can't win.  You can't break even. You can't quit. 
>  
>  Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some  fool will
>  discover something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond
>  recognition 
>