Software revision codes ... nyuk, nyuk

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A Guide to Software Revisions

Once you start playing with software you quickly become aware that each
software package has a revision code attached to it. It is obvious that
this revision code gives the sequence of changes to the product, but in
reality there's substantially more information available through the rev
code than that. This e-mail provides a guide for interpreting the
meaning of the revision codes and what  they actually signify.

1.0:

Also known as "one point uh-oh", or "barely out of beta".  We had to
release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the
marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror.  We're praying that
you'll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its
operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.

1.1:

We fixed all the killer bugs ...

1.2:

Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to
fix them, too.

2.0:

We did the product we really wanted to do to begin with. Mind you, it's
really not what the customer needs yet, but we're working on it.

2.1:

Well, not surprisingly, we broke some things in making major changes so
we had to fix them. But we did a really good job of testing this time,
so we don't think we introduced any new bugs while we were fixing these
bugs.

2.2:

Uh, sorry, one slipped through. One lousy typo error and you won't
believe how much trouble it caused!

2.3:

Some jerk found a deep-seated bug that's been there since 1.0 and
wouldn't stop nagging until we fixed it!!

3.0:

Hey, we finally think we've got it right! Most of the customers are
really happy with this.

3.1:

Of course, we did break a few little things.

4.0:

More features. It's doubled in size now, by the way, and you'll need to
get more memory and a faster processor ...

4.1:

Just one or two bugs this time ... Honest!

5.0:

We really need to go on to a new product, but we have an installed base
out there to protect. We're cutting the staffing after this.

6.0:

We had to fix a few things we broke in 5.0. Not very many, but it's been
so long since we looked at this thing we might as well call it a major
upgrade.  Oh, yeah, we added a few flashy cosmetic features so we could
justify the major upgrade number.

6.1:

Since I'm leaving the company and I'm the last guy left in the lab who
works on the product, I wanted to make sure that all the changes I've
made are incorporated before I go. I added some cute demos, too, since I
was getting pretty bored back here in my dark little corner (I kept
complaining about the lighting but they wouldn't do anything). They're
talking about obsolescence planning but they'll try to keep selling it
for as long as there's a buck or two to be made. I'm leaving the bits in
as good a shape as I can in case somebody has to tweak them, but it'll
be sheer luck if no one loses them.

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                   COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM
 
            From Your Friendly Techical Support Staff
                                
 
            ---------------------------------------------------
 
 
 1. Describe your Computer problem
 
 ________________________________________________________________
 
 
 2. Now, describe the problem accurately
 ________________________________________________________________
 
 
 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem
 ________________________________________________________________
 ________________________________________________________________
 ________________________________________________________________
 

 4. Problem Severity
 
 A. Minor____    B. Minor____    C. Minor____    D. Trivial____
 
 
 5. Nature of the problem
 
 A. Locked Up____ B. Frozen____ C. Hung____      D. Shot_____
 
 
 6. Is your computer plugged in?          Yes__ No__
 
 
 7. Is it turned on?                      Yes__ No__
 
 
 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?    Yes__ No__
 
 
 9. Have you made it worse?               Yes__
 
 
 10. Have you read the manual?            Yes__ No__
 
 
 11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
 
 
 12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?  No__
 
 
 13. Do you think you understood it?       Yes__ No__
 
 
 14. If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
     ________________________________________________________
 
 
 15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? _____________
 
 
 16. What were you doing with your computer at the time
     the problem occurred? ________________________________
 
 
 17. If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in.
     _________________________________________________________
 
 
 18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?  Yes__ No__
 
 
 19. How does this problem make you feel? ______________________
 
 
 20. Tell me about your childhood. ______________________________
 
 
 21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?  Yes__ No__
 
 
 22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?   Yes__
 
 
--
 ______ ___   __ _____ __    __   __  __ tnally@iquest.net tnally@mcp.com
|_    _|   \ |  |  _  |  |  |  |  \ \/ / tgnally@prairienet.org
  |  | |  |\\|  |  _  |  |__|  |__ |  |  T. Nally - "A M.I.M.E. is a
  |__| |__| \___|_| |_|_____|_____||__|  a terrible thing to waste."