Technical Service ... nyuk, nyuk

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Transscript of call to Help Desk:

New User  - "This software won't install"

Help Desk - "OK, tell me what you did to install it"

NU        - "I followed the instructions just like it said,
            but now it won't do anything"

HD        - "What was the last message you got?"

NU        - "It told me that it had finished diskette number 1
            and to insert diskette number 2"

HD        - "OK, did you insert diskette number 2"

NU        - "Yes, and I had a really hard time getting it
            in that little slot on top of diskette number 1"

------------------------------------------------

MAN OF THE CLOTH 

A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants
pocket. But the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his
shoe. Unfortunately, the shoe sole also had a hole, so he lost the
buttons. Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons and shoe
soles with holes are useless, the man ripped the buttonholes out of
his shirt and the pocket from his pants and tossed them in the trash
along with the soles of his shoes. After looking in a mirror, he
decided to toss his clothes in the trash as well. 

A policeman observed all this and asked the man for identification. 

The man produced a document that he was an ordained minister of the
gospel. 

The policeman promptly escorted him to a mental institution. 

The minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such
unjust treatment. 

The policeman replied, "Anyone claiming to be a preacher, but who
doesn't save souls or wear holy clothes has probably lost his
buttons". 

----------------------------------------------------

OXYMORONS 

 51. Friendly Fire
 50. Act naturally
 49. Found missing
 48. Resident alien
 47. Advanced BASIC
 46. Genuine imitation
 45. Airline Food
 44. Good grief
 43. Same difference
 42. Almost exactly
 41. Government organization
 40. Sanitary landfill
 39. Alone together
 38. Legally drunk
 37. Silent scream
 36. British fashion
 35. Living dead
 34. Small crowd
 33. Business ethics
 32. Soft rock
 30. Military Intelligence
 29. Software documentation
 28. New York culture
 27. New classic
 26. Sweet sorrow
 25. Childproof
 24. "Now, then ..."
 23. Synthetic natural gas
 22. Christian Scientists
 21. Passive aggression
 20. Taped live
 19. Clearly misunderstood
 18. Peace force
 17. Extinct Life
 16. Temporary tax increase
 14. Plastic glasses
 13. Terribly pleased
 12. Computer security
 11. Political science
 10. Tight slacks
  9. Definite maybe
  8. Pretty ugly
  7. Twelve-ounce pound cake
  6. Diet ice cream
  5. Rap music
  4. Working vacation
  3. Exact estimate
  2. Religious tolerance

And the Number one top OXY-Moron,

  1. Microsoft Works

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--
 ______ ___   __ _____ __    __   __  __ tnally@iquest.net tnally@mcp.com
|_    _|   \ |  |  _  |  |  |  |  \ \/ / tgnally@prairienet.org
  |  | |  |\\|  |  _  |  |__|  |__ |  |  T. Nally - "A M.I.M.E. is a
  |__| |__| \___|_| |_|_____|_____||__|  a terrible thing to waste."