DP Organizational charts ... ooh, ooh

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WHAT THE ORGANIZATIONAL CHART DOESN'T TELL YOU
 
 In the lower ranks of the MIS world, sorting out job titles is a
 nearly impossible task.  Some folks are called Analysts.  Some are
 called Programmers. Some are called Engineers.  None of them has
 window offices.
 
 So I have listed -- from lowest to highest in order of prestige -- and
 described the 10 most commonly used job titles in a data processing
 shop.
 
 A truly experienced high-tech professional has held five or even six
 of these positions . . . usually all at the same time.
 
 10.  Programmer:
 This person holds the lowest rank in the DP field.  Manages no
 one.  Answers to everyone.  Approximately 50% of the Programmer's
 time is scheduled for testing.  Another 50% is spent filling out
 time cards and progress reports.  Any time left over is spent
 attending classes on technologies that will never be used in the
 shop.
 
 The Programmer is appraised on code quality and reliability.
 Never has time to write any.  Hopes to, someday, be promoted to
 Systems Analyst.
 
 9.  Systems Analyst:
 The Systems Analyst refuses to code anymore.  Designs new
 systems. Writes specs for new systems.  Devises procedures
  and work flows for new systems but ends up training users
 on how to get by with the old ones.  Next in line for Team
 Leader position.
 
 8.  Team Leader:
 A Team Leader manages one project.  Doesn't know why he's not
 called Project Leader;  that's what he has on his resume.
 
 7.  Project Leader:
 Manages several projects at once.  Analyzes Gantt charts from the
 Team Leaders' projects.  Coordinates schedules from the Team
 Leaders' projects.  Monitors deliverables from the Team Leaders'
 projects. Has absolutely no idea what any of the Team Leaders'
 projects are about. Wants to be a programmer again.
 
 6.  Operator:
 The Operator wields powers that the Project Leader can only dream
 about.  Makes Programmers beg for tape drives.  Makes Analysts
 beg for disk space.  Makes Team Leaders beg for printouts.  Has
 an uncanny understanding of career potential in the data
 processing industry. Going to law school at night.
 
 5.  Systems Programmer:
 Even an Operator wants to be a Systems Programmer.  A
 Systems Programmer has the authority to wipe out disk packs
 without warning.  Crash the system during user demos.  Make
 new releases appear, then disappear, then reappear again,
 especially during month-end processing.
 
 4.  DBA:
 No one really knows what the Database Administrator does, and no
 one is smart enough to know if the DBA is doing it or not.  But
 every shop must have one DBA, because no place can afford two of
 them.
 
 3.  Manager:
 The Manager is sometimes called a Director.  Or an Assistant
 Vice-President.  Or an Account Manager.  Has completely lost
 touch with any facsimile of technology.  Wants to finish next
 year's budget.  Wants to finish last year's appraisals.  Wants to
 learn the names of some of the Programmers.  But instead, only
 has time to interview job applicants, especially DBAs.
 
 2.  Department Secretary:
 The Programmers have word processing.  The Managers have
 electronic mail.  Everyone has automatic phone messaging.
 This leaves the Department Secretary with all kinds of time to
 manipulate, control and dispense the three most basic employee
 needs:  paychecks, rumors and supplies.  Can make copier
 self-destruct just by going to lunch.
 
 1.  Contract Programmer:
 A Contract Programmer doesn't have to wear a nice suit.  Or go to
 meetings.  Or fill out time cards.  Or keep complaints to
 himself.  He can make all the mistakes he wants.  He doesn't get
 benefits.  He doesn't get training.  He doesn't get respect.
 
 But after years in the trenches, the Contract Programmer will
 finally achieve the ultimate goal in the profession:  He will be
 able to make impossible deadlines with inadequate resources for
 desperate managers by putting in all kinds of extra hours... and
 will be paid overtime for every one of them.
--
 ______ ___   __ _____ __    __   __  __ tnally@iquest.net tnally@mcp.com
|_    _|   \ |  |  _  |  |  |  |  \ \/ / tgnally@prairienet.org
  |  | |  |\\|  |  _  |  |__|  |__ |  |  T. Nally - "A M.I.M.E. is a
  |__| |__| \___|_| |_|_____|_____||__|  a terrible thing to waste."