Hacker Barbie ... nyuk, nyuk

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                PRESS RELEASE: HACKER BARBIE

(LA, California) Mattel announces their new line of Barbie products, the
"Hacker Barbie." These new dolls will be released next month. The aim of
these dolls is to negate the stereotype that women are numerophobic,
computer-illiterate, and academically challenged.

This new line of Barbie dolls comes equipped with Barbie's very own
X-terminal and UNIX documentation as well as ORA's "In a Nutshell" series.
The Barbie clothing includes a dirty button-up shirt and a pair of well-worn
jeans. Accessories include a Casio all-purpose watch, and glasses with
lenses thick enough to set ants on fire. (Pocket protectors and HP
calculators optional.)

The new Barbie has the incredible ability to stare at the screen without
blinking her eyes and to go without eating or drinking for 16 hours
straight. Her vocabulary mainly consists of technical terms such as "What's
you're Internet address?", "I like TCP/IP!", "Bummer! Your kernel must have
gotten trashed," "Can't you grep that file?", and "DEC's Alpha AXP is
awesome!"

"We are very excited about this product," said Ken Olsen, Marketing
Executive, "and we hope that the Hacker Barbie will offset the damage
incurred by the mathophobic Barbie." (A year ago, Mattel released Barbie
dolls that say, "Math is hard," with a condescending companion Ken.) The
Hacker Barbie's Ken is an incompetent management consultant who frequently
asks Barbie for help.

The leading feminists are equally excited about this new line of Barbie
dolls. Naomi Falodji says, "I believe that these new dolls will finally
terminate the notion that womyn are inherently inferior when it comes to
mathematics and the sciences. However, I feel that Ken's hierarchical
superiority would simply reinforce the patriarchy and oppress the masses."
Mattel made no comment.

Parents, however, are worried that they will fall behind the children
technologically when the Hacker Barbie comes out. "My daughter Jenny plays
with the prototype Hacker Barbie for two days," says Mrs. Mary Carlson of
rural Oxford, Mississippi, "and now she pays my credit card bill online. Got
no idea how she does it, but she surely does it. I just don't wanna be
looked upon as some dumb mama." Mattel will be offering free training
courses for those who purchase the Hacker Barbie.

The future Hacker Barbie will include several variations to deal with the
complex aspects of Barbie. "Hacker Barbie Goes to Jail" will teach computer
ethics to youngsters, while "BARBIE RITES L1KE BIFF!!!" will serve as an
introduction to expository writing.
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 ______ ___   __ _____ __    __   __  __ tnally@iquest.net tnally@mcp.com
|_    _|   \ |  |  _  |  |  |  |  \ \/ / tgnally@prairienet.org
  |  | |  |\\|  |  _  |  |__|  |__ |  |  T. Nally - "A M.I.M.E. is a
  |__| |__| \___|_| |_|_____|_____||__|  a terrible thing to waste."