The Virus Hoax and other Urban Legends

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This is way off topic for this list, but I've received *numerous*
messages this week on the "GOOD TIMES" virus, which supposedely
will trash your hard drive if you so much as read the email entitled
"GOOD TIMES."  Here's the "canonical" warning:

    Apparently , a new computer virus has been engineered by a user of
    America Online that is unparalleled in its destructive capability. 
    Other, more well-known viruses such as Stoned, Airwolf, and
    Michaelangelo pale in comparison to the prospects of this newest
    creation by a warped mentality.
    
    What makes this virus so terrifying is the fact that no program
    needs to be exchanged for a new computer to be infected.  It can be
    spread through the existing e-mail systems of the InterNet.
       
    Luckily, there is one sure means of detecting what is now known as
    the "Good Times" virus.  It always travels to new computers the
    same way - in a text e-mail message with the subject line reading
    simply "Good Times". Avoiding infection is easy once the file has
    been received - not reading it. The act of loading the file into
    the mail server's ASCII buffer causes the "Good Times" mainline
    program to initialize and execute.
       
    The program is highly intelligent - it will send copies of itself
    to everyone whose e-mail address is contained in a received-mail
    file or a sent-mail file, if it can find one.  It will then proceed
    to trash the computer it is running on.
    
    The bottom line here is - if you receive a file with the subject
    line "Good TImes", delete it immediately!  Do not read it!  Rest
    assured that whoever's name was on the "From:" line was surely
    struck by the virus.   Warn your friends and local system users of
    this newest threat to the InterNet!  It could save them a lot of
    time and money.

Doesn't it just strike fear into your hearts?  Well, it's a HOAX. 
There is absolutely no way an email message loaded into a computer's
"ASCII buffer" (whatever that is) can execute all by itself. (Well,
if you want to nitpick - okay yes its possible, but not in the way
"GOOD TIMES" is described).  A later version mentions a totally bogus
FCC warning, along with this hilarious phrase:

     If the program is not stopped, the computer's processor will
     be placed in an nth-complexity infinite binary loop - which
     can severely damage the processor if left running that way too
     long.

For those of you who don't know what an nth-complexity infinite binary
loop is, it's in the same class of objects as jabberwockies, infinite
improbability generators, the FCC modem tax, the various "totally legal"
Make Money Fast schemes, the Neiman-Marcus/Mrs-Fields $250 Cookie Recipe
story, the Starship Enterprise, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy -- i.e.
they're all completely fictitious (for the trekkies out there, sorry to
break the news to ya).

This hoax first appeared late in 1994, and resurfaced various times
last year with a few variations.  I thought it died last summer, but
I'm once again receiving *numerous* messages warning me about this
supposed virus.

For those of you who fell for the warning and forwarded the message
to the dozens of people on your personal email list, don't feel too
bad -- the wording in the hoax is quite strong.  You should protect
your machine from viruses by running a virus-checking utility on any
executable you download from the 'net or a BBS service or get from a
floppy.  Use a virus checker regularly on your system to scan for
viruses.

For more information on "GOOD TIMES," some interesting reading can be
found in the "GOOD TIMES FAQ" at:

  http://www-mcb.ucdavis.edu/info/virus.html

The mini-FAQ is at:

  ftp://usit.net/pub/lesjones/Good-Times-Virus-Hoax-Mini-FAQ

The Computer Incident Advisory Capability (CIAC) declaring Good Times
as a hoax can be found at:

  ftp://ciac.llnl.gov/pub/notes/ 
  http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/ 

The CIAC usually issues bulletins on computer security problems.

More "urban legends" kind of stuff can be found at:

   ftp://cathouse.org/pub/cathouse/urban.legends/AFU.faq 
   http://cathouse.org/UrbanLegends/AFUFAQ/ 

Be advised that cathouse.org does have some pretty profane material.

If you are an America Online user, "GO VIRUS2" for AOL's official
statement on the Good Times Virus.

Richard Masoner